The Black Dress

He didn't need a reason to do what he did.

Dr. William Rowley, who worked thirty years as a vascular surgeon and now works at the Institute for Alternative Futures, left the house, driving away in his shiny red Prius.

She remained on the floor, just as he had left her. Minutes seemed to pass, minutes not spent crying, not feeling sorrow, but rather devoid of any emotional bias. Her hand latched onto the countertop and she pulled herself up to her feet. Her knees wobbled for a moment, but soon she managed to gracefully walk into the bathroom. She tossed her torn, black dress onto the tile. It was an elegant dress, unworthy of such indifferent treatment.

The shower head spat out three quick bursts of water before handling a steady stream. A quick glance into the mirror turned into an intense stare. Her glistening eyes caught her attention and held tightly to it. They wanted to tell her something, to reveal a great truth that would free her from the slow digestion of her soul by this world. But there was nothing to protect her. The barrage of acidic juices would continuously splash onto her spirit and she would gradually erode away. And so her eyes relinquished their grasp. She stepped into the shower, washing away the venomous filth to give life a fresh target for its virulent rape.

The New Season

The new TV season is approaching, and is bringing with it the feeling of artistic renewal for me. I had started writing blog posts regularly around August of last year, and especially in January when I started various Heroes blogs. And now the season 2 premiere of Heroes is only weeks away.

The new season of Heroes should bring with it inspiration; new plots, new characters and new ideas for me and others to play with online. So, it would seem, I am prepared to begin writing regularly once again on character web logs such as Mr. Bennet's. But what of my personal web log, the one you're reading right now?

Not long ago I posted a short tidbit expressing my desire to get back into the swing of writing blog posts on my MySpace blog (Which runs as a semi-syndicated version of this one). But days have passed without any new posts.

I have found myself with ideas, thoughts which I have scribbled onto paper. And even some thoughts that became a paragraph or two. But so far, no post-worthy works. Where is my inspiration?

When I had been posting regularly, it was during the height of goings-on in my life. I had a job to report to every weekday. Heroes was the new big thing on TV and the internet was buzzing about it. My own Heroes-themed websites brought constant activity. But that all changed.

I became unemployed and the first season of Heroes came to an end. Without those, there was nothing much happening in my life. I was passively letting time go by.

Most of my few months of unemployment was spent watching TV and movies. I DVRed everything; I had a constant flow of movies from Blockbuster online. I rarely had to involve myself in the world. Could this escape from worldly interaction have wasted away my inspiration?

Recently, my life has completely turned around. I had previously been contented financially with a job I only had to show up for and pass the time away. And now I am forced into doing something about my financial situation. Before, I had no friends, with the exception of online people and shallow work aquaintance, bringing about an absense of a realistic social life. Now, I regularly hang out with a friend and my sister, and occasionally a few others. I even have found myself going to Rodeos for an entire weekend, and activity my family does often in which I chose not to participate. And the biggest turn around is that I am back in college. I have signed up for 12 credit hours at the Junior College to be considered full time. This allows me to have health insurance via my mother's job, which I need for corrective jaw surgery and had planned on having when I had my own health insurance through employment with the City of Hobbs. So am I now inspired?

You could say that this post is perhaps proof that I am. But will this continue regularly? I can't say that I had felt truly inspired when I wrote this. I am however reading To Kill a Mockingbird and going to college, so intellectual stimulation exists. And at school I see people, on the weekends I see family and friends, and so I have social stimulation as well. Is that the combination that leads to inspiration, to the ability to change? Does it bring a sense of purpose and meaning that allows one to regain their place in the world and interact with it, rather than react? Perhaps I'll know soon. And when I know, you'll know.