Monday, March 13, 2006

Spanking - You know you like it

I was eating some Chinese food when I came across this couple, probably in their 30s. They had a little boy with a Power Ranger action figure. It was one of the new versions, so I couldn't tell you the name.

Anyway, the boy finished eating and was running around, being a typical little kid. The mom kept threatening, "Do you want to go to the restroom? Come on let's go to the restroom so I can give you a spankin'."

This continued the entire time I was there. She never went with him to the restroom, but she did smack him once.

So is spanking a good idea?

I think there's a lot of more effective methods of conditioning, but I know for a parent spanking can be the most appealing. I think there's some things you should keep in mind if you are going to spank your child.

First, don't make empty threats. The kid in the Chinese place kept acting up because he obviously didn't care that his mom was threatening him. If you say, "Do that one more time and I'll spank your ass raw," you better follow up as soon as they grin and see how far they can go past the line you set. That would mean next time in public, if you threaten them, they'll be more willing to comply.

Secondly, don't spank them if they're just being annoying. Spank them for disobedience. Children can't help it that they find gum under the table entertaining to throw at bystanders. Explain how that's wrong and let them know it's a bad thing to do. Then when they get spanked for it you can tell them, "Sorry, but I told you it's not nice to throw used gum at strangers."

Third. Try not to become angry. You'll probably be frustrated by them if you resort to spanking. But realize that spanking is a form of conditioning. You're spanking them to let them know their behavior is bad. You're not spanking them to take out your frustration at said behavoir.

Fourthly, don't be embarassed to disipline your child in public. They'll catch on to your embarassment and use that to taunt you. They know they're safe as long as there are witnesses around.

Of course, it's a great idea to try other techniques. One thing you could try is talking to them. While not all children are capable of understanding what you're saying, they can probably get the general idea. Explain to them their actions and ask them what they think of it. Find out if they realize they're being bad.

Reward them from time to time when they behave unexpectedly. Don't say, "We'll give you ice cream if you take that man's tie out of your mouth." Instead, if they go the whole duration of a public outing without an incident, or if you ask them one time to behave and they do, take them for ice cream afterwards. Then say, "I'm really proud of you guys for behaving while we were at church." If you tell them ahead of time, they'll come to believe that being good is only worth it if there's a promise for reward.

Well, there's my thoughts. Now go ahead and do some spanking if you're into that kind of thing.

4 comments:

Kym said...

I agree whole-heartedly with your thoughts on this topic. I can't tell you the number of times I have told my clients about empty threats and consistency when rearing their children. you would make a good dad!

Evil Genius Prime said...

Great common sense. If only all parents understood these simple concepts.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Jesus christ, stop hiting children, it's a fucking pussy move and it teaches kids that it's okay to hit people!

Take away their toys, give them timeout, don't hit someone less then half your size who have no way of defending themselves! I agree with the rest of it, keep calm, give them a warning, explain it to them, all of that is right, but not the spanking!
If spanking even should have a chance to work it either has to be humiliating or hurt the kid. That's child abuse. Do you really want to hurt your little kid? Really? Taking their toys or giving them a timeout has the same effect AND your kid will not be afraid of you, there is less chance that he/she will lie to get out of trouble, less chance that they will turn violent later in life, etc. PLEASE people, stop this evil circle, this is the 21st century!